Dare you join the L.E.G.I.O.N.?

The cult of salaciously evil, sexual corruption demanded by my multitude of deranged, depraved minions, in my scandalous honour finally has a name: Lewd, Exhibitionists having Gratuitously graphic Intercourse Orgies Nymphomaniacally! Join usssssss, I know you want to...

All about me:

Firstly the name; an accident of annoyance at being denied picture access at the local library, perhaps not unsurprisingly, Witchie Boo and her enormous, bright green, spider tattooed dairy pillows was involved. Now it makes a simple and effective mission statement. I have used the internet for years and years, but I only got a home connection a year ago, so actually talking to people online is still a relatively new concept for me. I know lots about science, literature and pretty girls but little about art. So I decided to offer my warped writings instead, it seems I have a talent for writing erotic filth and diabolical satire, as well as fearsome essays, and whilst I try to avoid any delusions of grandeur, my stable of online friends, avid stalkers, rabid fans and depraved, deranged minions grows by the day.

I have lots of kinky imagination, burgeoning, fed and truly warped by a decade of surfing online filth, especially all those pervy fetish stories. Apart from the obvious, my fetishistic interests include naughty smoking girls, sky high heels, beautiful tattoos, kinky piercings, long, sexy, glossy talons, hot, nasty lipstick, tight, slinky corsets and rubber, police uniforms, handcuffs and naughty nurses. Tight and shiny is always the best! As you can probably guess, I filled my time at school downloading things I shouldn't have...

I am six feet tall, with brown eyes, defiantly scruffy hair and unique for many reasons. Since I was 15 I have suffered a from IBS-Irritable Bowel Syndrome. Not poofy "I feel bloated" advert IBS, but intense pain 24h a day forever, immune to all known treatment IBS. This is combined with some unknown hypothalamus malfunction which makes me sleep 12 hours at a time. Also my metabolism is totally screwed, I eat an utterly ludicrous 10,000 calories a day! Am I a 50 stone wideload scarfing McLARDBURGERS do you ask? No, whilst by now I should be dead, exploded, or visible from space, I have remained exactly 14 stone for 10 years, thus the mystery. Presumably my tummy contains a swirling, ever hungry vortex to another dimension or something. However the fact that all my "ammunition dumps" should probably be sealed in lead drums and fired into the sun hardly defies description. Ironically, and most mysteriously of all, because of the whole wierd metabolism thing I have not physically aged since I was a teenager either. I swear the locals can't tell the difference...

This means several things, firstly I may be IMMORTAL (muahahahahahaa!), secondly I am on enough nasty and often experimental combinations of medication to kill ordinary mortals, mostly of an attempted stomach acid suppressing nature, and thirdly, whilst I am intellectually 28, in obvious physicality and apparently psychologically I am also about 16-18. This gives me a unique perspective on things and my youthful appearance often confuses many, especially local bus stop lurking teens, hawkish shop owners, suspicious librarians and cheerful bus drivers.

Intelligence wise I have a shitload of GCSE's, 5.5 A levels and half of a Metallurgy degree. Because of constantly fighting my own nefarious stomach, and having to travel 3-4hours a day just to reach uni, I missed out on all the sexy, traditionally dubiously alcohol fueled fun... The fact that I can never, ever, ever drink any under threat of doom hardly helps either. Teasingly, my testosterone seems to be the only hormone that still bloody works properly. In fact, my latest "medicine," has been having an entirely unexpected bedtime side effect any thoughtful lady friends might be most pleased about! Because exam stress messes ludicrously with the IBS I got screwed by BIRMINGHAM UNIVERSITY (boo, hiss). So now I'm doing a geo/eco/planetary/material mixed sciences degree from home with the Open University instead.

Apparently my nefarious and inexplicably talented brains really are unique because I was born two months premature as a (insert PC word of choice). Somehow my brain repaired itself, meaning I got very smart, very fast. Hell I read Tolkien when I was 8! When I was sent to the psychiatrists because of my extreme IBS symptoms, they gracefully decided that I am surprisingly not a GIBBERING LUNATIC at all. It is a point of conjecture whether the fact that I seem to have such little control over exactly where in my brain all the extreme erudition comes from when I write stuff has anything to do with any of this. However, I do apparently have a classed as androgyne mind, based on a test of personality traits, aptitudes and emotional responses. This means I possess both traditionally strong male and female mental traits. Perhaps this effects my empathy with my characters and where all the lovey dovey kinky passion comes from?

I really am a nice person, I love mischievous fluffypets, the naughtier the better, especially my own dread beast Penny Purryclaws, and I have always had lots of friends, now online too. Burping totally at random loudly enough to echo, and very occaisonally gassing entire rooms with glowing green skull-clouds, lends a kind of anti-charisma to my sarcastic, ironic yet funny and fun loving personality. It can hurt quite a lot, but people coughing, swearing profanities and pulling clothes over their noses is hilarious.(me:"oh no, not again?!")s Other students like me so much, they start impromptu fizz-fuelled burping contests in my illustrious honour! But then by comparison, one of my girlie college friends whom I had a serious crush on wore a "porn star in training," tee shirt and used her alarm clock as a watch. Maybe my personality attracts cute, sexy oddballs. If any of my girlie friends felt any deeper feelings for me then they unfortunately never professed.

So to sum all that up, I am a friendly, nice, yet pretty unusual, quite pervy, naughty, kinky boy, in need of a gorgeous, lovely, sexy, outrageously filthy girl to corrupt me. To kiss and lick, and hug and squeeze, tease and please, and snuggle purring happily up to every night. Any and all means of deranged stalking, scandalous teasing, salacious plotting or sex crazed pouncing welcome!

Here is a list of the story ideas currently whizzing around in my brain, if anyone has some new ones to suggest, or feels I've managed to forget some previously discussed depraved filth, please don't hesitate to tell me.

Slave to the Ashtray Club, servicing their needs
Electra-Shannon Tweed embraces evil
Add more to Slutty Auntie Chastity, O'Pearl?
Add more to Romantic Seduction
Add more to Candi, an angel fallen
Add new chapter to Encouraged to be Slutty
Add new chapter to Vivian, "Phone Sex Frenzy"
Add new chapter to Countess Carmina
Smoky Schooldaze-Alexis in school
Miss Zee-naughty teacher, fetishnails.com
Harlot Hostel-Ayla UED
Harlot Hotel-room serviced
Slaved and caged-Lana Cox
Little miss Candi Ash-Dr Fuck, Nekoryu
Love Slaved-Emily and Nekoryu
Schoolgirl Stripper, tarty transformation-sandybelldf
Caleyesque-because Lorddragonmaster is a meanypants
Terry Ghost- maybe Rio, DrBaghead
Librarians Punished-master pc meme
Ghetto Goddesses, kidnapped in New York
Masumi Max, caged and slaved
Bought by a Bitch(corrupted by Masumi)Nina and Diana, Russian rich bitch and daughter
Hibiscus-shape changing demon slut
The "Fantasy Dimension Slut Shop"-hidden desires granted, permanently... Muahahahahaa!
Cult of Corruption-future initiation rites for minions, suggested by many...
My tits are sooo hungry!-soul eating boobs, Eliza Fire
Freaky Friday-slutty mom
Joining the family business- stripclub stepfather
Calafornication-nasty cigar bikini blonde
Ricki's Baited Boobs-Ricki Raxx, nephew stalking
Tart with a heart-flanker25's yummy cigar stripper
Calamity Cate, bitchy teen fuck machine-Cate Harrington smokeymouths/smokingdomination
Miausii for christmas-red latex
Heels Make The Harlot-UED Guy's sluttification sequence
Vile Victoria, corruptiuon spread-UED's evil super stripper
Fists of Fury, curves of sin-Tifa cosplay for Tifa-bells
Lean, green, fuck machine-Witchie boo cosplay, Tifa bells
My, what a big "banana!"-demienvancope's evil, singing hearthrob, Slishy, Expandshadowz
The Whoremonger, herald of Slaanesh-Expandshadowz
Slishy goes for walkies
Envenomous Angel-Lohrack, Biohazardous nurse
Hot as Ice- fur coat, cigars, gratuitous nudity
Ren for Dessert
Feral Ren
Kinky Exhibiton-Ren, it's a surprise!
Satanic Nuns-Lovis-8
Hylenne-Lovis-8
Capnolagnia Hospital-lots of depraved nurses
Daddy's Little Angel-teenage succubus, Steevdragon
The Master is Pleased-succubus, Steevdragon
Meat Street-Sweetmouth
Smokin' Hyppnotherapy, false credentials-Tanya, internet milf
Forced Seduction, tied together-Bee Bryant, RocketDave
Fiery Eye in the Sky Denied-lurking at the beach, periscope, Tekweapons
Job Retraining-sleazy barmaid, Lipstick Girl, SouthernCharms
Road Trip to Heaven-Charlie Laine, youtube, altasmoking
Boob Dreams-teenage cutie
Fetish party Extravaganza-Corseta, internet model
These Boots Are Made For Stalking-Kitten, internet fetish model
Auntie Peaches is Hookerlicious-Peaches, upinsmoke slut
Sex Goddess Virus, twisted physiology-Donita Dunes
Slut Transformer, Ayla melons, UEDGuy
Satanic Stepmom-flanker25
A daughter to be proud of-wonderwoman punked, Flanker25
Sexy Student-Jade, colight
Smokin' Photography-gullible/horny DA models
BITCH-Victoria Brown,smokingdomination/smokeymouths
Demagogue Silenced, opinions reversed-Megan/Selena, colight
Sextoy Sorority
Lustus-Octorber13
Cigar Smoking Amazons-Emily
El Presidente-Tropico, fetish pervert island paradise, hidden lair of...
Evil Genius-sexy bodyguards, freakish experiments, smoky "deathtraps"
Lord Terror-Dungeon Keeper I and II, red hot poker fairy, bitey mantraps
Ember-sandybelldf, sextoy stripper ghost
Flaming Tits of Doom-sandybelldf
Dora, the Explicit Explorer-sandybelldf
Donna Depraved-super pervert club, sandybelldf
Dark Diana-exgemini
Evil Relic-vampiric, evil bitch soul corruption
Transgender corruption-anonymous
Vampire Nurses at the bloodbank
100 a day, keeps the asthma at bay-Nina, smoking fetish hospita
A Friend like Candi-encouragement and corruption Knight-Bishop
Watch me work it, I'm perfect!-smoky gym, Dahlia from smokingsweeties
More Smoky Airways
Witchie Boo-Quidditch practice(riding things) Sublime slime(and writhing tentacles)
Shoe Shop Sluts
Bad Babesitter
Loki's Mask
Ever kissed an Ashtray?-nicotine filled makeup, muahahahahaaa!
F is for Fuck, S is for Suck-Slutty goddess of rock, Artemis
Money For Boobz-Artemis
Pussy fangs? hot vampire pic at hentai foundry... CHOMP!
Elvish Reality-cigar club
The "kittenslayer."
The Box of Lurking
Paws of Fury, Gravity Defied
Bernard Matthews, Turkey Deathlord